You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
