i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I bet he comes in French.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
