Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
