Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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