he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
