How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
