He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
