mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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