it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
