Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
