i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
