ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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