guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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