I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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