Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
