no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
