im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
