Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
