Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
