I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
