you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
