I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
