Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
