try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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