either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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