Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
