I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
