I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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