walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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