Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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