Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
