I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
