I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
