i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
