I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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