Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
her vagine was all disorganized.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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