U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
As shirtless as possible
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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