Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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