Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
