Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
