Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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