i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
