I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
