I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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