im about as happy as oj after his trial
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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