We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
