We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
