Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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