stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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