if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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