can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
