Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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