My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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